Inch @sem, Inch Badmem? II

Shant Norashkharhian

"Did you hear the latest?" Asked an Armenian relative the other day.
"Inch ga, chiga?" I answered.
"Can you believe they could clone a sheep? Make it exactly the same as its father, with ALL the chromosomes?"
"You must be joking! So everything is exactly the same? Same black spots in the same places, same face, same height...?"
"Same everything, a black and white carbon copy!"
"Are you saying the same could be done for humans one day?" "Sure, why not? It's exactly the same procedure. It is simple and does not need a lot of technology. They are taking the female's chromosomes out of the female's egg and replacing it with the male's. Unbelievable!"
"So what does this mean for mankind?"
"This means we could have a hundred Bill Clintons, all exactly the same!"
"What a nightmare! Don't you think one Bill Clinton is enough for a lifetime?"
"OK, but think of what it means for us, the Armenian nation."
"We always suffered from small numbers, so there may be some use for us there."
"Think how great it could be for us. Instead of two catholicoses, we could have two hundred, or while we are at it, two thousand!"
"Perant kher pats, ay dgha! We don't know what to do with two of them, what shall we do with two thousand?"
"Think of the enormous benefits for the nation. First, instead of two fund raising events a week, we could have two thousand. Since this will require opening more Swiss accounts, we will help the Swisseconomy and they will love us."
"Then the merchant/benefactors will be happy because the price of salvation will go down, you know, supply and demand, free market, free Armenia."
"We could have a new head of state visited by a catholicos every day of the week. We could have a great speech every hour of the day. The Armenian papers would have so many smiling photos that they would not have to fill up empty spaces with poetry anymore. Think about it! Just think about it!"
"I am thinking! I am thinking! The medal factory in Echmiadzin would be working day and night, more workers, more jobs, better economy."
"Truckloads of Armenian brandy and ishkhanatsoug heading to Echmiadzin. Did you know that the government sold the Armenian brandy factory for $20,000? A friend at the top is worth a hundred golden geese at the bottom!"
"OK, but ishkhanatsoug is an endangered species. Can you imagine 2,000 catholicoses dining on ishkhanatsoug every day?"
"Don't worry about that. They say like Jesus they can make 5,000 fish and loaves of bread from only one."
"And instead of two mouthpieces for the Armenian president, there would be two thousand. Inch @sem, inch badmem!"
"OK, OK, you convinced me. Clone the catholicoses. O, Armenian nation, your salvation is in...cloning your catholicoses...!"